A Story of Firsts-Honeymoon Edward
by The Pick-A-Prompt Contest
Summary: In life, all of your 'firsts' are usually awkward moments you'd rather forget ... Well, that's an understatement for Bella and Edward.


**2018 TFN Pick-A-Prompt Contest**

 **Title: A Story of Firsts**

 **Summary:** **In life, all of your 'firsts' are usually awkward moments you'd rather forget ... Well, that's an understatement for Bella and Edward.**

 **Pairing: Bella/Edward**

 **Rating: M**

 **Word Count: 5,518**

 **DISCLAIMER: Twilight and its inclusive material is copyright to Stephenie Meyer. Original creation, including but not limited to plot and characters, is copyright to the respective authors of each story. No copyright infringement is intended.**

 **Prompt Quote: Whenever I'm in the produce aisle of a grocery store; I feel this sudden urge to weigh my boobs in the produce scale.**

 **The First Time** **He Saw Her**

The first time Edward Cullen saw Isabella Swan, she was in the vegetable aisle of the Thriftway. Standing on her tiptoes, she was weighing one of her boobs on a produce scale.

"Excuse me, miss, but what exactly do you think you're doing?" he questioned using the most authoritative voice his fifteen-year-old body could muster.

Not even bothering to remove her breast from the hanging metal tray, Bella studied the boy who stood in front of her. He appeared to be around her age, but his uniform made him seem older. Along with the white apron tied around his waist, he wore a white button-down shirt and a red bow tie.

His thick, dark brows furrowed as he stood and waited for her response. He couldn't believe the girl hadn't removed her lady bit when he had first approached. Didn't she have any respect for authority figures?

Attempting to wipe the scowl off the boy's face, she responded, "Weighing a melon."

Even though she thought her answer had been witty, he hadn't been amused. Didn't she realize how unsanitary her actions were? Now, he was going to have to disinfect the entire scale before his lunch break.

"Miss, people use these scales to weigh their food. No one is going to want to put their cabbage or bananas on there after you've had your … your … your mammary gland all over it."

Mammary gland? Was this kid serious? Bella started laughing so hard her boob slipped right off the tray.

"Shit! Did you see what you made me do?" she half laughed, half sighed. "You don't realize how hard it is to balance these babies on those things!" she exclaimed grabbing her breasts to emphasize her point. "And I didn't even get a chance to check the weight! Now Alice will never believe me when I tell her they've gotten bigger over the summer."

"W-what?"

"Alice. She's going to want proof when I tell her my boobs have gotten bigger. Last time we weighed them, they were about a half pound each. I can tell they're at least a couple ounces bigger now," she explained.

When the boy continued to give her a blank stare, she rolled her eyes before reaching over and grabbing a potato. "Here. I read an average, large russet weighs approximately eight ounces," she said as she placed it in one of his hands. Grabbing his other hand, she placed it on her left tit. "See, doesn't that feel heavier to you?"

Having never felt a breast before, Edward was in a state of shock. Even through her T-shirt, he could feel the softness of her flesh. Just as Bella removed her hand from his, a loud voice bellowed, "Edward Cullen, what the hell are you doing to my daughter?"

Startled, Edward jumped, causing the potato that was still lodged in his hand to fly directly at Chief Swan's groin.

As the Chief doubled over in pain and groaned, Edward began envisioning his future life in prison.

Bella simply snapped her fingers in front of the stunned boy's face and said, "Ed, was it? Don't just stand there. Go grab a bag of frozen peas for my dad's broken junk."

 **The First Time She Brought His Officer to Attention**

The next time Edward Cullen saw Isabella Swan was a year later at Newton's Outfitters while he was attempting to purchase a pair of hiking boots.

"Holy Shit! Look who it is! Are you here to buy a pair of boots?" Bella exclaimed when she saw Edward standing by a display of Keen Durands.

Even though he had only met her once, he instantaneously recognized her voice. Turning in her direction, he gave her a half-hearted nod before returning to his perusal. His hope that she would leave him alone diminished as soon as he felt something poke him in his left shoulder.

"Hey, Thriftway! Don't you remember me?" she asked as she continued jabbing at his shoulder with her left index finger. "It's me, Bella!"

Edward hadn't learned her name when they had met the prior summer.

No, he had just felt her up and hit her father in the nuts.

He was still mortified by the incident and here she was acting like they were long, lost friends.

Not really knowing what to say he mumbled, "Yeah, I remember you. And my name's Edward."

"That's right!" she beamed. "Ed!"

"Edward," he repeated even though he knew it wouldn't make a difference.

"So are you still doing your thing down at the store? I haven't seen you there, but then again, I've only been back in town for a week," she said.

Not giving him a chance to respond, she continued, "Today's my second day working at Newt's. The Chief thought it would be good for me to have something to do while I visited for the summer. You know, to keep me out of trouble."

 _Good luck with that,_ Edward thought.

"So far, it's been a blast. Did you know they sell live anchovies here? I mean how cool is that? Don't tell anyone, but I snuck one of those suckers home last night to keep as a pet. He's the cutest little thing; I named him Salty!"

Just when he thought she had finally finished talking, she started again, "Oh! That reminds me! I need to get him some grub after work. Do you sell fish food at the Thriftway?" Then after nudging him in the chest, she scolded, "Hey! You never answered me! Do you still work there?"

Edward stared at her slack-jawed. How could one person talk so much and why did she have to keep hurting him? For a little thing, she had strong fingers.

When he realized she was waiting for his response, he said, "Yes, I'm still working at the grocery."

"Well, I have some good news for you, Ed!" she said grabbing his hand and yanking him toward the front of the store. "You won't have to worry about me using your scales this summer because look." She stopped when they had reached the counter and pointed toward a small silver machine. "Old Man Newt has a digital scale he uses to weigh packages for postage! And the best part is, it's far more accurate than those ancient ones you have at the Thriftway."

 _Ugh._

She was talking about weighing her breasts again. He needed to get the hell out of there.

His mother had raised him to be a gentleman, but how was he supposed to be when all this girl did was discuss her lady parts with him.

 _Great!_

Now he was thinking about her lady parts. Specifically, her boobs and how nice she had felt underneath his palm.

"Ed? Ed? Did you hear me?"

"Huh?"

"I said, can you tell they're bigger than they were last year? I weighed them yesterday, and they were at a respectable pound and a fourth each."

Turning to the side, she arched her back so he would have a better view.

As hard as he tried not to, he couldn't stop himself from taking a peek.

 _Good Lord! They had grown._

Unfortunately, he was having a growing issue himself - in his pants. Needing to make a quick escape, he stammered, "C-congratulations," as he fled toward the door.

Confused by his sudden departure, Bella called out, "But what about the boots? I thought you needed boots?"

 _This girl just doesn't give up!_ Edward thought.

Sighing, he yelled back, "We can talk about your boobs again some other time, Bella. I've really gotta go."

 **The First Time She Got Angry at Him**

Later that evening, as he was stocking a new shipment of Red Anjous, Bella appeared.

Her face was puffy and red. She had been crying.

"Hi, Ed," she sniffled.

He started to correct her use of his name but decided there was no point.

"Hey, Bella. What's wrong?"

"Salty died. He was dead when I got home from work. I thought I should come and let you know."

Even though he wasn't exactly sure why she felt the need to tell him the news, he began to give his condolences. "I'm—"

But because it was Bella, he didn't get a chance to finish before she again started talking.

"The worst part is … I killed him!" After releasing a sob, she paused to wipe her nose with the back of her hand. "I killed Salty!"

"What—"

"Did you know anchovies are saltwater fish?"

"Yes—"

"Well, they are! And I knew it. That's why I put an entire container of Morton's in the tub with Salty."

"The tub?" he asked finally getting a chance to speak.

"Of course the tub, Ed! Where else would I have kept Salty? I wanted to make sure he had plenty of space. Anchovies need lots of room to swim," she scoffed. "But you know what anchovies don't need?"

"Uh—"

"I'll tell you what … iodine! That's what killed him! I'm a murderer, Ed! How will I ever look at myself in the mirror again?" Not waiting for his response, she flung herself into his chest.

Never having dealt with an upset girl before, Edward didn't have a clue what to do. He stood awkwardly with his arms lying limply at his sides before he remembered how his mother always gently rubbed his back whenever he needed comfort. Deciding to give that a try, he began lifting his arms to encircle her.

However, when he did, he accidentally brushed the side of her right breast.

Pulling away from him, Bella gritted her teeth and narrowed her eyes. "Did you just touch my boob? Are you shitting me!"

Edward's mouth went dry. "It ... it ..." He stuttered attempting to tell her it was an accident.

"Here I am suffering from the loss of a beloved family member, and all you can think about is copping a feel!"

Before he had another chance to explain, she stormed out of the store.

 **The First Time She Forgave Him**

Edward felt horrible about the way their last conversation had ended.

Even though he knew he hadn't purposefully touched her breast, he couldn't help but admit to himself that he had wanted to.

No, maybe not at that exact moment, but ever since seeing her at Newton's, all he could think about was Bella.

And her breasts.

Something about her made him feel all mixed up inside.

Despite being the strangest girl he had ever met, she was also the prettiest. Her eyes were the same shade of his favorite chocolate pudding; the one his grandmother always made him on his birthday. And she had the cutest sprinkling of freckles; every time she laughed, he thought they looked as if they were dancing across her nose.

Part of him never wanted to see her again; she drove him to the brink of insanity. But a larger part, wanted to see her every day. Even if it meant having to listen to her prattle on incessantly the way she always did.

In the end, Edward's decision on whether to see her was made for him.

Because two days after Salty died, Bella showed up at his house.

While Edward was in his room listening to a CD, he heard a knock at his door. Expecting to find his mother, he hurled it open.

But after seeing who stood on the opposite side, he flung it back shut.

 _Son of a Motherless Goat!_

Edward didn't typically cuss, but Bella Swan was outside his bedroom, and he had just opened his door in his SpongeBob underwear!

After quickly throwing on a pair of jeans and a hoodie, Edward opened his door again just as his mother rushed down the hall and joined Bella.

"There you are, dear," his mother said. "You disappeared on me. I went to get you a drink, and then you were gone."

"Yeah, sorry about that," Bella shrugged unapologetically. "I decided to go find Ed on my own."

"I see that," his mother responded dryly. "I guess it's a good thing he was dressed."

"Actually— "

"Yes, yes it was," he interrupted Bella. If his mother found out the truth, there would be hell to pay.

"Well, I would prefer if the two of you spoke downstairs in the family room," Esme said gesturing toward the staircase. "We don't allow girls to hang out with Edward in his room."

"I understand, Mrs. Cullen," Bella replied with respectful formality. "With Ed's issue and all."

"His issue?"

"You know, his boob fetish."

Once they reached the first floor, Edward's mother asked to speak with him in the kitchen. "Go ahead and have a seat in the family room, Bella. Edward will join you in a moment."

Knots formed in his stomach. He knew he was going to get a lecture from his mother.

As soon as they entered the kitchen, she looked at him. She narrowed her eyes and placed her hands on her hips. "Edward Anthony Cullen! What on earth was that young lady talking about upstairs?"

"S-she was only kidding, Mom!" he stammered as he shuffled his feet side to side. "Bella's got a weird sense of humor."

"A weird sense of humor?" she repeated. "Who teases about something like that?"

"Bella," he mumbled.

"About having a breast fetish?" She whispered the last two words as if they were expletives. "That's hard for me to believe. Are you sure there's not some truth to it? Maybe I need to take you down to the church and have you speak with Father Weber."

"Aww, Mom! Come on! It was really a joke!" he cried out in embarrassment. "Will you please stop!"

After a few moments of contemplation, she finally relented. "I'm trusting what you say, Edward. But if I hear anything else about you touching body parts that don't belong to you, we are making a trip to see the priest."

Immediately after leaving the kitchen, Edward hurried to the family room. He was curious to see Bella and find out why she had shown up at his house.

Discovering her on the sofa, he said, "Sorry about that. Mom needed me to get something off a shelf for her."

"It's okay. I just figured she was mad at you for being so wrapped up in my flesh bulbs."

 _Flesh bulbs?_

"Ed, I've done some soul-searching, and I've decided to give us another chance. We've been through too much not to give it another try. I mean what would Salty think if we didn't."

 _Huh?_

"Anyway, after watching The Maury Show this afternoon, I realized if Shonda could forgive Richard for sleeping with her sister _and_ her brother then I certainly could forgive you for being addicted to my hooters."

"Wh-what? Wait. Who's Shonda?"

"Shonda, Ed! The poor girl who found Richard in bed with her own brother and sister! And that's another thing, if we're going to make this work, you've got to become a better listener."

Scooting closer to Edward, Bella grabbed his hand. "In all seriousness, I understand your fascination with my fun bags. I mean - they're cute, perky, and they keep getting bigger by the second. But, Ed, all of our conversations can't revolve around my tits ..."

She was still talking, but as soon as she had mentioned her fun bags, Edward had begun imagining all the fun things he wanted to do with them and had stopped listening.

 _Dear God. Maybe he did have a boob fetish!_

"So do you agree?"

Realizing he had missed the bulk of the conversation, he didn't know what he was about to agree with, but not wanting to appear rude, he replied, "Of course, I can."

"I knew you would," she smiled before giving his hand a gentle squeeze. "I better go now. Don't forget to be at my house tomorrow morning by six-thirty. I can't be late for work."

Before he could ask her what in the world she was talking about, she leaned over and gave his cheek a soft kiss.

And suddenly, it didn't matter to him any longer.

He would be wherever she asked, whenever she wanted.

 **The First Time He Got Jealous**

Edward had been taking Bella to and from work ever since their conversation at his house the prior week.

He was still unsure what their relationship exactly entailed, but he was discovering he didn't care. When it came down to it, he was just enjoying spending time with her.

That's why he was disappointed he wouldn't be able to drive her home that afternoon; he had been called into work early.

When he entered Newton's, he didn't see Bella at her usual spot behind the cash register, but he did hear her giggle.

Following the sound, he finally spotted her near the firearms. As he was wondering what could be so amusing about ammunition, his answer popped up from behind the counter.

It was Mike Newton.

Mike Newton was one of the popular kids at his school. Not that Edward was a loser or anything that extreme; he just didn't buy into the same superficial nonsense as the elite of Forks High.

No, Edward had always been more focused on his academics than parties.

Mike spotted him first. "Edmond! Hey, can I help you with something?"

Following Mike's gaze, Bella exclaimed, "Mike, that's not Edmond! It's Ed!"

Turning to Edward, she asked, "Ed, what are you doing here already? I'm not off for another two hours."

Smacking herself on the forehead, she added, "Oh! I forgot to introduce you! Ed, this is Mike Newton! He's Old Man Newt's son."

Mike laughed. "Bells, you do realize my dad is only forty-five, right?"

 _Bells?_ Edward fumed. Why was Mike Newton calling Bella that horrible name?

"I know, silly! That's why I call him 'Old Man'!" she rolled her eyes.

Giving her attention back to Edward she continued, "Are you going to wait here until I can leave? Because that would be kick ass! I can show you the new shipment of nightcrawlers we just received. Do you think a nightcrawler would make a good pet?" After shaking her head, she answered herself. "No, it's too soon, isn't it? We wouldn't want to tarnish Salty's memory."

Edward had learned to wait patiently for Bella to finish talking before attempting to speak. When he was certain she was done, he said, "Actually, I was just stopping by to let you know I was called into work early. I won't be able to take you home today. Do you think your father can pick you up?"

Her heart sank. She always looked forward to her time with Edward.

"Oh, okay, that shouldn't be a problem."

"Bells, don't worry. I can run you home." Mike suggested throwing an arm around her shoulder.

"Are … are you sure you don't mind?"

"Of course not. It'll be fun," he said hugging her close while shooting Edward a grin.

"Well, okay then. I guess I'll see you tomorrow, Ed."

After running a hand through his already messy hair, he said, "Yeah, I guess."

Edward hadn't even made it to his car before he had his cell phone out and began calling his boss.

"Mr. Forge? It's Edward Cullen. I'm sorry, but …"

Three minutes later, he returned to the store.

"Bella, guess what? I can stay after all! Let's look at those worms."

 **The First Time They Played Tonsil Hockey**

Two weeks later, to his chagrin, Edward was unable to drive Bella to work; his mother needed his help cleaning out the garage.

As they were determining what to donate and what to discard, Edward spotted something he thought Bella would enjoy.

Lifting it in the air, he called out to his mom. "Are we keeping this?"

With a visible shudder, his mother replied, "Good Lord, no. And whatever you do, don't tell your father you saw that; I told him it fell off the wall and broke. Can you believe he had that hideous thing hanging in his office?"

Edward chuckled. "Do you mind if I give it to a friend?"

"I suppose that would be all right as long as your father never finds out."

Later that evening, Edward drove to Newton's to pick up Bella. Before they got into his car, he opened the door and reached into the backseat. "I have something for you," he said handing her a SpongeBob gift bag.

Taking it, Bella giggled. "You really have a thing for SpongeBob—don't you?"

He blushed. It had been the only bag he could find, but it was true; he did love that cartoon.

"Why the present? It's not even my birthday!" she asked as she delved inside the package.

"It made me think of you."

"Oh, Ed!" Bella whispered her voice thick with emotion. "It's perfect!"

With tears in her eyes, she pushed the small, red button, which was located at the bottom of the plaque. Together, they listened and watched as Big Mouth Billy Bass sang and danced.

"I know it's not an anchovy, but I thought it could serve as some type of memorial for Salty."

After carefully placing the plaque back into the bag, Bella shoved Edward against his car and then proceeded to shove her tongue down his throat.

Neither of them had ever kissed anyone before, so they had no idea what they were doing. He kept his eyes open the entire time, and at one point, she almost bit off his tongue.

It was incredibly wet and sloppy.

When it was over, they had spit all over their mouths.

After wiping off their lips, they both sighed.

"Wow! That had to be the best kiss ever!" Bella said.

Overcome by the moment, Edward simply nodded.

He couldn't have agreed more.

 **The First Time They Said Goodbye**

Bella and Edward became more proficient in the art of kissing.

They had lots of practice.

Whenever they weren't at work or home, they were in Edward's car sucking face.

It had been the best summer of their lives.

But August soon arrived, and with it, Bella's imminent departure to Arizona.

On the evening before she left, they sat outside Newton's and talked.

Edward felt queasy at the thought of not seeing Bella for an entire nine months. He didn't know exactly how it had happened, but she had quickly become his world.

"I'm going to miss you so much," he told her after giving her a tender kiss.

"Oh, Ed. I'm going to miss you as well, but we can text each other, and hopefully, I can convince Renee to get me a webcam so we can Skype too," she sighed. "Before I go, I have something for you."

After reaching into her purse, she handed him a small package.

"But, I didn't get you anything."

"It's okay. It's just something small to help you remember me by."

 _As if he could ever forget her_ , he thought as he unwrapped the gift.

Removing the paper, he discovered a box of Pop-Tarts.

He wasn't sure why she had gotten him breakfast pastries, but because it was Bella; he had learned to expect the unexpected.

"Thanks, I love them," he smiled before giving her a hug.

"That's not the gift, silly. The present's inside!" she laughed.

Oh. That made more sense.

After opening the lid, Edward stuck his hand inside and pulled out a bra.

"I know how much you love my dairy pillows, so I thought this was kind of like the next best thing," she shrugged.

"This is y-yours?"

"Yep, and I've even worn it for the past three days."

As he reverently held up the scrap of white cotton, his eyes began watering.

"Th-this has got to be the best gift I've ever received."

 **The First Time He Felt Both Her Mammary Glands**

When Bella returned to Forks the following summer, she called Edward and asked to meet.

Excited to see her, he quickly agreed and drove to her house.

"Ed, we need to have a serious discussion."

Edward panicked. _Was she breaking up with him?_

"I honestly didn't think our relationship would last," she began. "You have to admit, with your boob addiction, the trauma of losing a beloved pet, and the whole long distance thing, the cards were stacked against us."

"I don't know if I would necessarily say it's an addiction ..." Edward mumbled with a flush. However, he was glad she didn't know how much time he had spent cuddling with her bra that past school year.

"But somehow, we've beaten the odds," she continued while taking hold of his hand. "Ed, I know you struggle. I can't even begin to imagine how difficult it is being around my luscious jugs all the time. I mean, I look at them as often as possible myself. They're so plump, and my nipples are the prettiest shade of rose I've ever seen ..."

Edward gulped.

"I thought I was doing the right thing, keeping you away from them, but now I realize how wrong I've been."

"Wh-what?"

"You're never going to overcome your issue if you don't have a chance to be around them. It's all about balance. Wouldn't you agree?" 

Good Lord, was she saying what he thought she was?

"I … I think you might be right, Bella."

"Yeah, I usually am," she agreed. "That's why I've decided I think you should start having daily visitation with Bey and Jay."

"What? Who?"

"Bey and Jay! My tatas! My Diane Sawyers!" she exclaimed. "Maybe, it would be best for me to just introduce you."

She lifted off her T-shirt and began removing her bra. Unlike the one she had given Edward, this one was light pink and looked to be satin.

"C-can I keep that one too?" he asked gesturing to the bra that was now dangling from her left index finger.

"No, Ed! I can't give you all of my chest chokers!" she said rolling her eyes. "I have to have something to contain these babies!" She pointed to her chest. "They've gotten quite more substantial since the last time you saw them. When Alice and I weighed them a few weeks ago, they were over two-and-a-half pounds each!"

"Huh?"

Edward had completely missed what she had said. The moment his eyes had met the wondrous glory of her breasts, his brain had turned to mush.

"My double lattes! They weigh … oh, never mind! Here, give me your hands."

Taking his left hand, she placed it on her right breast. "Ed, this is Bey." Looking at her breast, she said, "Bey, this is Ed."

Edward had never been happier to meet someone in his entire life.

Taking his right hand, she put it on her left breast. "And this is Jay."

"Well, are you going to say anything?"

Confused, he stammered, "H-hello? How's it going?"

"Seriously, Ed!" she scoffed. "Sometimes, you don't have a clue! I meant, aren't you going to tell me how pretty they are? How nice they feel?"

"They are! They do!" he rushed, not removing his eyes from where his palms rested. "In fact, they are the most spectacular things I've ever seen or felt in my entire life."

"That's more like it," she smiled. "Okay, that's enough. I don't want to cause you to have a setback. You can see them again tomorrow."

 _No, we just met!_

"B-but, Bey was right in the middle of telling me something! And Jay wanted to show me her book collection!" he pouted.

"Nice try, Ed," Bella said shaking her head. "But Jay hates to read, and Bey is the shy one who doesn't talk much."

 **The First Time They Said the "L" Word**

"Dad, I need to talk to you about something," Bella announced one evening as she and her father were dining at Carver Cafe.

"Hmm?" Charlie mumbled his mouth too full of meatloaf to say anything else.

"I want to stay in Forks for my senior year of school."

After putting down his fork, Charlie looked at his daughter in surprise. "What brought on this decision? I thought you preferred the weather in Arizona?"

"Well, of course, I do. It's just; Jay, Bey, and I don't want to leave our friends."

"Jay and Bey? Who are they?" he groaned. "Bella, did you bring home more anchovies? You know we can't have bait swimming around in our bathtub!"

"Dad! Salty wasn't bait!" she frowned. "He was my little, silver baby! I can't believe you would speak so ill of the dead!"

Pulling at his collar, he cleared his throat. "I'm sorry; I really didn't mean any disrespect."

"Humph!" She crossed her arms over her chest. She had already been offended.

"So who are Jay and Bey?"

"They're my chesticles."

"Y-your what?"

"My chesticles," she repeated. "You know, my milk monsters."

When she saw that he still appeared confused, she rolled her eyes; she needed an old person word.

Remembering what Grandma Marie used to call them, she said, "Bosoms! My bosoms!"

Charlie scrubbed a palm across his face. He hated dealing with this kind of stuff; Renee usually handled all the girly issues.

"I don't understand. You named your …?" he couldn't say the word, so he just waved his hand in the air.

"Duh! Everyone names them." She scoffed. "Don't you have a special name for your junk?"

Choking on the gulp of milk he had just taken, he coughed. Once he caught his breath, he glared at her. "My _junk_ is none of your concern, young lady."

Grumbling, "Whatever," she asked again, "so can I stay?"

Not wanting to start another discussion about her bosoms or his junk, he took the easier route and raised the white flag. "As long as it's okay with your mother …"

The next day, Edward and Bella were having cocoa at a coffee shop in Port Angeles.

After taking a sip of her hot drink, Bella said, "Ed, I've come to a decision."

Setting down his mug, he studied her as she sat across from him. Her expression was so serious that he became concerned something was wrong.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes, I wanted to let you know I've decided to stay in Forks for my senior year of school. It's just the separation wouldn't be fair to Bey and Jay," she explained. "They've become very attached to you over the past few months."

He understood because he had become rather fond of them as well. Bey and Jay came a close second only to Bella. The thought of not seeing them for an extended period was much more than he could bear.

Just as he was about to tell her he thought that was the best idea he had ever heard, she said, "And we can't forget about your trouser snake. I mean, I just met Prince Everhard of the Netherlands. It would be incredibly rude of me to leave when we're just getting to know each other!"

He couldn't argue with that. His dick would certainly be heartbroken to see Bella go.

"Yes, I—"

"But, most of all, I can't imagine being away from you again," she sighed. "I just love you so much and the thought—"

"Wait!" he interrupted. "What did you just say?"

"Which part? The part about Bey and Jay?"

He shook his head.

"The part about your Chief of Staff?"

He shook his head again.

"The part where I said I love you?" she said, a smile sounding in her voice.

"Yeah, that part."

"I do, Ed. I love you so much that if I were a dog, I would pee all over you to mark you as mine."

In all the time he had known her, Edward had never heard Bella say something so romantic.

And he had felt the same about her; he had just been too scared to admit it.

"Bella, I love you too," he said reaching for her hand. "It's not just your boobs I'm addicted to—it's everything about you."

"Oh, Ed!" she gushed. "Let's get out of here. I want to swap spit."

 **The First Time They Put His Wand into Her Chamber of Secrets**

A few months later, Bella and Edward shared another first.

On the night of their senior prom, Prince Everhard of the Netherlands invaded Bella's thatched cottage.

And just like their first kiss, they didn't exactly know what they were doing.

Bella thought it would be sexy to bite Ed in the man berries; he thought otherwise and accidentally kicked her in the nose as he retreated while shouting in pain.

Once she recovered, it took them six tries to find the correct hole.

When he finally slid into the Promised Land, Edward forgot to breathe and eventually passed out.

Even though he had no recollection of how it all ended, when he came around, Bella was still smiling.

The second time Edward corked Bella's onion, well let's just say, that was a much different story.

But you'll have to read about that later … because remember, this is a story of firsts.

 **The End**


End file.
